Over a year of trying...

After reading a Friend of a friends blog last night on her journey of trying to conceive I thought that it might be therapeutic for me to start my own blog as a way to talk about all the heartache and sadness that has been going on for for over a year now in my life.

A little background... My amazing husband Jonathan and i got married in July of 2009. Shortly after I stopped taking my birth control because we decided that we wanted to start a family. I knew this might be hard but I didn't expect it to be this hard... Ever since I was young I had abnormal cycles until I went on birth control. When i stopped taking it in October of 2009 allot of things started happening with my body, I started gaining weight rapidly, my skin started to look like it did back when I was in high school and I was still having abnormal cycles. After 5 months I decided it was time to check in with my GYN. She ran some blood work and did some ultrasounds and came to the conclusion that I have what is know as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). For those of you who have never heard of this, PCOS happens when a female has too much insulin, a hormone that helps turn food into energy. extra insulin can cause the other hormones in you body to be unbalanced. You may product extra of the hormone called androgen's, even though this is primarily a male hormone, females have it too and extra androgen's in a female can lead to acne, excess body hair (thank goodness I don't have this side effect), weight gain and irregular periods making it difficult to conceive.

After hearing this news I was devastated, i felt defeated, as if it was like I was not fit to be a mother and that is why this was happening to me. I took the news very hard and had more bad days then good days. I was put on a medication called metformin (which is typically used for those who have diabetes). I didn't understand how this medication used primarily for diabetes was going to help me get what I was longing for. But I took it anyways. My GYN told me to wait three months to see if this would regulate my body...

Of course I had to do more then just wait around...

I'm going to try and keep each post kinda short otherwise this first one would be so long you might not want to finish reading it. I'm sure I will have several posts by the end of the day, each containing a different part of our journey.