So it's official, we have started the first (and hopefully only) IVF cycle. To start this about a week ago I had to go back on birth control, this is to help give my ovaries a rest from all the other cycles and medications that I have taken over the past year. I will take 3 weeks of active pills and then skip the placebo pills and then take 1 to 2 more weeks of active pills to make sure no follicles are being produced.
It's weird to be back on birth control after so long. Trying to remember to take it every day is hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm my own pharmacy and I need to lay all the pills that I am taking out so I can remember to take each of them every day. What makes taking these medications even worse is that I can't take them all at the same time. One has to be taken with food twice a day, one can should not be taken with in 2 hours of eating (which is hard because I try to eat 5 small meals a day so it feels like I am always eating...) the other should be taken at the same time every day to be most effective... I think though that the three different pills that I am on right now wont be anything compared to all of the injections I am getting ready to have to take.
On Friday 6-17-2011 Jonathan and I went in and signed all the consent paperwork for the IVF treatments. There was so much to go over. Giving consent for the procedures, filling out insurance paperwork, deciding what to do with any eggs that I not implanted, do you want to freeze them or not (if you freeze them and the first cycle doesn't work then you can try again with the frozen ones without all the pain and time of the first cycle). We have to decided if we want to do what is called IVF with ICIS which is where if the sperm doesn't fertilize the egg on it's own or the lab finds something not quite correct they will take one sperm and inject it into one egg and fertilize it that way. There are some possible side effects for children conceived this way which makes us a little concerned about having to do this. I'm going to read up on it a little more then just the one piece of paper they gave to us and see if we can come to a conclusion of if we want to do this or not.
The hardest form to fill out and sign is yet to be completed. It's a form asking us what will happen to the frozen eggs if one or both of us should pass away or if we get divorced (which is not going to happen). It makes what should be a happy time of trying to start a family kind of a sad time, thinking about what would happen if something horrible happened to Jonathan is not something that I want to think about but I am now being forced to think about it and sign a paper stating what will happen to any frozen embryos... I think that our love for each other will help us make these decisions and make this form a lot easier to fill out.
Right now I am just waiting on my official calendar of doctors visits to come in the mail and my medication list to take to the pharmacy. Once I get that we will go back on July 13th for a medication review and start the heavy hitters (the injections to help grow as many follicles as possible to give us the best chance of growing out family soon)
I know this post doesn't really have a great flow and it's kinda choppy but that is what has been going on, will post more after my next appointment or if I get word of anything else.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
A new path on our journey: IVF Treatments
Unfortunately last cycle wasn't our cycle, again. I called the Doctors office and gave them all of my insurance information so they could contact the insurance and get all the approval paperwork started so we could get it as soon as possible (b/c insurance companies can take FOREVER to approve things) b/c I was not going to go through with this costly procedure without proof that it is going to be covered.
I'm sad that I missed the call from the doctors nurse yesterday but she did leave a message. She said she spoke with the insurance company and they said that since we have fertility coverage that there is no pre-authorization needed, all it has to be billed as is outpatient surgery (which it will) and it will be covered. I think the only part that might not be covered is the freezing of any eggs that are not used and that really isn't that much of a cost.
I'm excited to get started and hope to start next cycle. I know that IVF isn't a sure thing and that it might not work no matter how many times we might try but the since I am producing mature eggs with this medication it seems to me that the new concern is that the sperm and egg are not meeting up and at least with IVF you know that the egg will be fertilized and it will be implanted and then the only wonder you have is waiting the two weeks to see if it sticks... I pray that this is what will do it for us and we will be starting our family soon.
I'll post more as we actually start the process and hopefully I will be posting some good news sometime soon.
I'm sad that I missed the call from the doctors nurse yesterday but she did leave a message. She said she spoke with the insurance company and they said that since we have fertility coverage that there is no pre-authorization needed, all it has to be billed as is outpatient surgery (which it will) and it will be covered. I think the only part that might not be covered is the freezing of any eggs that are not used and that really isn't that much of a cost.
I'm excited to get started and hope to start next cycle. I know that IVF isn't a sure thing and that it might not work no matter how many times we might try but the since I am producing mature eggs with this medication it seems to me that the new concern is that the sperm and egg are not meeting up and at least with IVF you know that the egg will be fertilized and it will be implanted and then the only wonder you have is waiting the two weeks to see if it sticks... I pray that this is what will do it for us and we will be starting our family soon.
I'll post more as we actually start the process and hopefully I will be posting some good news sometime soon.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Fertility Yoga
I have been practicing yoga for just about a year now and I really really like it. of course with all of the online research that I have done over the past year about infertility and conception I did come across fertility yoga. i never really looked into it more until recently.
Yoga really does help relax the body and is supposed to help get rid of toxin in the internal organs and also strengthen the body. different poses are said to assist with not only different muscle groups but different organs as well. And there are specific poses that can help with the reproductive organs. A lot of poses that can help with fertility are restorative poses and not crazy twists and hand stands and stuff, they are easy and relaxing, at least that is what I have found when I researched some poses that could help.
I can't tell you that I'm 100% into the holistic approach to fertility after going to the chiropractor for almost a year with no such luck in conceiving but I do really enjoy yoga so why not try some of these poses out on days where I do not attend yoga class. Here are some of the poses that I have found, these are very easy to do and you can be a total beginner to do them.
Legs up the wall pose: Laying on your back you want your bottom right up against the wall with your legs straight up the wall arms are typically over head or in a comfortable position for you. Once your pelvis is in the correct position then you can relax your legs letting them bend and you can stay here for at least 20 minutes, its very relaxing. However there are some yoga poses that you do not want to do if you are menstruating and this is on of them.
Supported bridge pose: We all know the bridge pose that you use to do in gym class. laying on your back feel flat on the floor knees bent. Gently lift your pelvis up in the air. Face should be looking up and arms should be on the floor. Stay in this pose as long as it is comfortable for you. And then gently low your hips back down to the ground.
Cobra pose: You should be lying on your belly with feet together. Hands should be placed close to the body under the shoulders. On your inhale you will push off your hands and extend your arms pushing your chest and head off the floor. This pose is a great stretch for the abdomen.
Wide angle pose: You should be sitting on the ground legs wide apart. You do not want to stretch your legs to much they should just be in a comfortable position. Then you will lean forward as far as you can. With each inhale and exhale you can try and bend further forward as far as you can go. Once you have gone as far as you can go you want to gently push yourself back up into your seated position.
There are many other position that can be helpful to increase your fertility and there are many books and DVD's that you can purchase as well. If you are like me and money is a little tight you can always go on YouTube and search for fertility yoga and there are a lot of good videos that will come up and you can follow along with those videos while you try the poses.
Now I'm not sure that yoga helps with fertility or not but I do know that I enjoy it and I will keep up with it no matter what!
Yoga really does help relax the body and is supposed to help get rid of toxin in the internal organs and also strengthen the body. different poses are said to assist with not only different muscle groups but different organs as well. And there are specific poses that can help with the reproductive organs. A lot of poses that can help with fertility are restorative poses and not crazy twists and hand stands and stuff, they are easy and relaxing, at least that is what I have found when I researched some poses that could help.
I can't tell you that I'm 100% into the holistic approach to fertility after going to the chiropractor for almost a year with no such luck in conceiving but I do really enjoy yoga so why not try some of these poses out on days where I do not attend yoga class. Here are some of the poses that I have found, these are very easy to do and you can be a total beginner to do them.
Legs up the wall pose: Laying on your back you want your bottom right up against the wall with your legs straight up the wall arms are typically over head or in a comfortable position for you. Once your pelvis is in the correct position then you can relax your legs letting them bend and you can stay here for at least 20 minutes, its very relaxing. However there are some yoga poses that you do not want to do if you are menstruating and this is on of them.
Supported bridge pose: We all know the bridge pose that you use to do in gym class. laying on your back feel flat on the floor knees bent. Gently lift your pelvis up in the air. Face should be looking up and arms should be on the floor. Stay in this pose as long as it is comfortable for you. And then gently low your hips back down to the ground.
Cobra pose: You should be lying on your belly with feet together. Hands should be placed close to the body under the shoulders. On your inhale you will push off your hands and extend your arms pushing your chest and head off the floor. This pose is a great stretch for the abdomen.
Wide angle pose: You should be sitting on the ground legs wide apart. You do not want to stretch your legs to much they should just be in a comfortable position. Then you will lean forward as far as you can. With each inhale and exhale you can try and bend further forward as far as you can go. Once you have gone as far as you can go you want to gently push yourself back up into your seated position.
There are many other position that can be helpful to increase your fertility and there are many books and DVD's that you can purchase as well. If you are like me and money is a little tight you can always go on YouTube and search for fertility yoga and there are a lot of good videos that will come up and you can follow along with those videos while you try the poses.
Now I'm not sure that yoga helps with fertility or not but I do know that I enjoy it and I will keep up with it no matter what!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Today was the Day the Doctor said to test...
So, Two weeks ago after my appointment with my RE she said that if my cycle didn't start by today then I should take a test...
I just couldn't do it. I have been feeling for about a week now that my cycle is getting ready to start and that again this month will be another failure... I just can't bring myself to take a test and see another negative, so I wait. I'm just waiting in anticipation for this next cycle to start so we can start the process of getting the approval from the insurance company for the IVF procedure. I feel in my heart that IVF is the way we have to go in order to have a baby. There will be a lot of ups and downs with IVF, knowing that the egg is fertilized and implanted is something I really look forward to.... But then the nervousness and anticipation to see if it sticks and then if it does will it be a viable pregnancy will be the worst part.
I just wish that this cycle would start already so that we can get on with trying to start our family. The wait is the worst part!
I just couldn't do it. I have been feeling for about a week now that my cycle is getting ready to start and that again this month will be another failure... I just can't bring myself to take a test and see another negative, so I wait. I'm just waiting in anticipation for this next cycle to start so we can start the process of getting the approval from the insurance company for the IVF procedure. I feel in my heart that IVF is the way we have to go in order to have a baby. There will be a lot of ups and downs with IVF, knowing that the egg is fertilized and implanted is something I really look forward to.... But then the nervousness and anticipation to see if it sticks and then if it does will it be a viable pregnancy will be the worst part.
I just wish that this cycle would start already so that we can get on with trying to start our family. The wait is the worst part!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Chiropractics for Conception...
Just under a year ago I went to an employee development workshop at my place of employment, I don't remember the exact title but it was something to do with work/life balance and reducing stress. It was put on by a Chiropractic clinic in Carmel, Indiana. The two doctors that spoke gave some good advice and also some that I thought was a little cooky... During their presentation that spoke about how the nervous system works and how if you spine is out of line then your body is unable to "speak" properly to those parts of your body where the nerves are being cut off due to spinal sublexations. The said that if the spine is corrected with chiropractic adjustments then the nerve flow would be better and it can help your internal organs work better. Including your ovaries and reproductive organs. This really got my attention as I was ready and willing to try anything that could help us have a baby.
The clinic was offering a 20 dollar initial exam and x-rays and the 20 dollars would go to JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, as I work for a company who makes diabetes home monitoring kits) So I thought to myself why not give it a shot. It's 20 dollars that goes to a good cause and maybe just maybe this was a sign from God that I should do this in order to help us conceive.
Both Chiropractors that spoke told stories of their own wives and how they were having trouble conceiving and even had several miscarriages. Once they started getting adjustments regularly they were both able to conceive and have happy healthy babies. This really got my attention because that is what I am longing for, just to have happy healthy babies of our own.
I went in to get my exam and then scheduled a follow up appointment to see the results. My husband came with me to see the ex ray's and everything. I learned that I had extreme forward head posture and that my spine itself was pretty straight just a little off at the bottom.
Now came the bad part... The cost. I figured that each visit would be like a doctors visit, You pay your co-payment if you have one and then if there is anything else needed they will bill you after they get the insurance payment... Well, boy was I ever wrong! They wanted me to sign a 1 year contract stating that I would receive treatment for 1 year and this was how long the Chiropractor thought it would take for correct the neck issues I was having. And... they wanted a TON of money every month. With all the bills I already had and just the amount of money I have to spend it gas to get to work we told the Chiropractor that we would not be able to start the treatment. Since he knew my story he was able to give me what they call a hardship price. Not that we are in a situation where we are having hardships but if we were to pay the amount he origianlly wanted then we would totally be in a hardship situation. Since he was nice enough to give us a price I could afford for the year of treatment I started with him the next week.
The first several months I had to go to the office three times a week for an adjustment and then spend 30 minutes doing rehabilitation exercises. Once that segment of treatment was over I was down to two visits per week and then after that segment one visit per week. Just a few weeks ago I had my 6 month ex rays done. My neck had went from a positive 12 degrees curve to a negative 37 degrees curve (negative 40 is normal for the neck).
However even with this great progress as you can see I am still not pregnant and I am starting to believe that Chiropractics is not going to be what helps us start our family. The only thing that it has done for me is to reduce the amount of headaches that i typically have. Usually I would have two or three a week and now I can gone over a month usually with out having one. That is great and all but my real reason for going there was to help with the nerve flow to my reproductive organs to help us have children and thus far that has not happened. I have 4 months left on my one year contract and then after that I plan on leave the office as I could really use the money that I am paying them for other things that are more important to me like my medications that are helping me to at least ovulation properly. We may not have conceived yet but I keep hope that even if we have to go as far as IVF we will have children of our own one day.
The clinic was offering a 20 dollar initial exam and x-rays and the 20 dollars would go to JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, as I work for a company who makes diabetes home monitoring kits) So I thought to myself why not give it a shot. It's 20 dollars that goes to a good cause and maybe just maybe this was a sign from God that I should do this in order to help us conceive.
Both Chiropractors that spoke told stories of their own wives and how they were having trouble conceiving and even had several miscarriages. Once they started getting adjustments regularly they were both able to conceive and have happy healthy babies. This really got my attention because that is what I am longing for, just to have happy healthy babies of our own.
I went in to get my exam and then scheduled a follow up appointment to see the results. My husband came with me to see the ex ray's and everything. I learned that I had extreme forward head posture and that my spine itself was pretty straight just a little off at the bottom.
Now came the bad part... The cost. I figured that each visit would be like a doctors visit, You pay your co-payment if you have one and then if there is anything else needed they will bill you after they get the insurance payment... Well, boy was I ever wrong! They wanted me to sign a 1 year contract stating that I would receive treatment for 1 year and this was how long the Chiropractor thought it would take for correct the neck issues I was having. And... they wanted a TON of money every month. With all the bills I already had and just the amount of money I have to spend it gas to get to work we told the Chiropractor that we would not be able to start the treatment. Since he knew my story he was able to give me what they call a hardship price. Not that we are in a situation where we are having hardships but if we were to pay the amount he origianlly wanted then we would totally be in a hardship situation. Since he was nice enough to give us a price I could afford for the year of treatment I started with him the next week.
The first several months I had to go to the office three times a week for an adjustment and then spend 30 minutes doing rehabilitation exercises. Once that segment of treatment was over I was down to two visits per week and then after that segment one visit per week. Just a few weeks ago I had my 6 month ex rays done. My neck had went from a positive 12 degrees curve to a negative 37 degrees curve (negative 40 is normal for the neck).
However even with this great progress as you can see I am still not pregnant and I am starting to believe that Chiropractics is not going to be what helps us start our family. The only thing that it has done for me is to reduce the amount of headaches that i typically have. Usually I would have two or three a week and now I can gone over a month usually with out having one. That is great and all but my real reason for going there was to help with the nerve flow to my reproductive organs to help us have children and thus far that has not happened. I have 4 months left on my one year contract and then after that I plan on leave the office as I could really use the money that I am paying them for other things that are more important to me like my medications that are helping me to at least ovulation properly. We may not have conceived yet but I keep hope that even if we have to go as far as IVF we will have children of our own one day.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Baby psychic or Baby psycho???
So, throughout this journey I have been trying to find anything and everything that could help in our journey to have a baby. Anything from fertility bracelets to fertility yoga (which I love yoga) and I even came across some positing on message board about a few different baby psychics who claim to be able to predict the month you will conceive, find out in or give birth and the gender of the baby. Know I know that the bible does not speak highly of people who say they can predict the future but at this point I need something to take my mind off things and have a little entertainment in this sad time of my life.
Now to me God plans the future and no one really knows what is going to happen but if people did then each person should be able to predict the same thing happening right?!?!? well that's not the case with these "Baby Psychics" that I emailed. One told me May, one told me September and one told me October from a cycle that starts in September. Two said girl and one said boy... All these different answers just confirm to me that there is no such thing as psychic abilities. There is no possible way any of this could happen.
The closes thing that any of them got right was the fact that one told me something will happen the last week in may and to look ahead and see if I was going to be testing or ovulating the last week of May. Well The last week of may at my ultrasound I had two mature follicles and I did ovulate that week. However, I'm not feeling that we have conceived this month... But we will see.
Till then I'm just going to try to keep my faith and believe that God does have a plan for us and we will have children one day.
Now to me God plans the future and no one really knows what is going to happen but if people did then each person should be able to predict the same thing happening right?!?!? well that's not the case with these "Baby Psychics" that I emailed. One told me May, one told me September and one told me October from a cycle that starts in September. Two said girl and one said boy... All these different answers just confirm to me that there is no such thing as psychic abilities. There is no possible way any of this could happen.
The closes thing that any of them got right was the fact that one told me something will happen the last week in may and to look ahead and see if I was going to be testing or ovulating the last week of May. Well The last week of may at my ultrasound I had two mature follicles and I did ovulate that week. However, I'm not feeling that we have conceived this month... But we will see.
Till then I'm just going to try to keep my faith and believe that God does have a plan for us and we will have children one day.
Friday, June 3, 2011
The cost of it all $$$
In 2010 i thought I had good insurance, I thought for sure everything would be covered. So you can imagine the surprise I got when i went to pick up my clomid and it was 50 dollars a prescription, 300 dollars for the 6 months we used it. Then the OPK's the ovulation prediction kits, 45 dollars a month for one kit about 450 dollars for all cycles. Various doctors visits, IUI's and ultrasounds about 3000 dollars.
Finally we got some good news, my company was getting better insurance in 2011 and they were going to cover infertility treatments!!! This year I have had no doctors bills, all medications have been either 5 or 10 dollars but the OPK's are still way expensive but those are not prescription. So even though I'm out about 4000 dollars from 2010 and my checking account and savings account are crying due to this and the cost of gas and the amount of gas I have to use just to get to and from work, almost everything is covered this year and that is amazing, its really the only reason I keep my job and don't look for anything outside of my company. I need these benefits if we have to go to the next step of IVF... Which is about 15,000 dollars! just for one round.
Finally we got some good news, my company was getting better insurance in 2011 and they were going to cover infertility treatments!!! This year I have had no doctors bills, all medications have been either 5 or 10 dollars but the OPK's are still way expensive but those are not prescription. So even though I'm out about 4000 dollars from 2010 and my checking account and savings account are crying due to this and the cost of gas and the amount of gas I have to use just to get to and from work, almost everything is covered this year and that is amazing, its really the only reason I keep my job and don't look for anything outside of my company. I need these benefits if we have to go to the next step of IVF... Which is about 15,000 dollars! just for one round.
Finding strength in others with the same issues
When I first started taking the clomid i did some searching online for success stories and I was able to find a message board (Well millions of message boards about TTC) where woman with PCOS and issues TTC would post their stories and talk about the pain they are going through and give advice on what has worked for them. For several months I found a home here. Until everyone that started posting about the same time as I did got pregnant. Once people got pregnant it was like they just left the board, they got their support then their BFP and then they were gone... I had to leave, I was back to just me.
I do have a few ladies from that blog that have kept in touch and I'm happy to announce one has had her baby and the other is currently pregnant. I still read the message board from time to time but I don't post on it or on any boards, I just read and find hope.
I do have a few ladies from that blog that have kept in touch and I'm happy to announce one has had her baby and the other is currently pregnant. I still read the message board from time to time but I don't post on it or on any boards, I just read and find hope.
You're Just to FAT!
before I met my husband and I was on birth control I was able to lose weight because my hormones were in check. Once I went off my birth control my hormones went crazy and I started gaining all the weight back, which increases the depression even more. I was told I should loose weight to help with TTC but that PCOS is going to make it extremely difficult to loose weight... So what do I do???
I have tired and tried, I have lost 10 pounds here 5 pounds there, i work out 4 or more times a week and I try to keep what I eat in check with one cheat day a week yet I still gain weight, and I get more and more depressed. Especially when you hear that people in the family are saying things that are not so nice about your weight... It makes me very self conscious and I don't want to eat around anyone. I want to loose weight but I seem to almost always be hungry, it's like the more depressed i get about the situation the more I eat and eat and the more and more I just can't get it together. Even with the working out and the running nothing happens, except I get fatter and fatter and uglier by the minute, that's how I feel. Depression hurts and it makes you feel bad about yourself especially when others are talking about you.
I still look to God for answers and help and strength and some days I have it and some days I don't. Even though the medication is helping me to ovulate i don't know what's going to happen next.
Depression hits hard when TTC
Through everything we have been through I have tried to stay positive but it is really hard when you see people you know left and right getting pregnant, from teenagers to those in the mid 30's. It makes you wonder why not me? Why and I not fit to be a mother? What is wrong with me?
I typically and up beat and positive at the start of a cycle and then by the mid to end point I get so down and depressed that again and again and try after try it doesn't happen. I think to myself, I have done everything right in my life. I was a good student, I was on the honor roll, I played sports and was the editor of the News Paper. i went to and graduated from college and even worked while in school. i had two great internships. I've never been in trouble with the law, I went to church I volunteered, I feel like I did everything right and yet you can see news stories about crack heads having 12 babies and people locking their children in closets with no food or water for days on end... I think how is this fair, I have so much to give to a child and these people are abusing the gifts that they have been given by God...
It makes you feel like an incomplete woman, like you can't do what you were made to do, a failure to your husband, why can't i produce a child for him??? I read a lot about men who leave their wives because they can not conceive. And even though I know my husband loves me unconditionally and would never leave me I still feel like I'm letting him down and failing him.
It gets harder and harder every month to not go deeper into depression especially when I hate my job on top of not being able to get pregnant why are things going wrong? I have prayed and prayed about both my job and getting pregnant and I have not gotten an answer. I pray for even just a sign and I don't have one. I have no idea if I will ever be able to have a baby. I like to think that one day it will happen but it's hard when you hear people say "your not getting any younger" and you seen teenage girls every week on MTV getting pregnant, not even out of high school with no job and no means of taking care of the child.
I know that God would not give me more then I can handle but I'm about at the end of my rope, I don't know how much more disappointment I can take...
I typically and up beat and positive at the start of a cycle and then by the mid to end point I get so down and depressed that again and again and try after try it doesn't happen. I think to myself, I have done everything right in my life. I was a good student, I was on the honor roll, I played sports and was the editor of the News Paper. i went to and graduated from college and even worked while in school. i had two great internships. I've never been in trouble with the law, I went to church I volunteered, I feel like I did everything right and yet you can see news stories about crack heads having 12 babies and people locking their children in closets with no food or water for days on end... I think how is this fair, I have so much to give to a child and these people are abusing the gifts that they have been given by God...
It makes you feel like an incomplete woman, like you can't do what you were made to do, a failure to your husband, why can't i produce a child for him??? I read a lot about men who leave their wives because they can not conceive. And even though I know my husband loves me unconditionally and would never leave me I still feel like I'm letting him down and failing him.
It gets harder and harder every month to not go deeper into depression especially when I hate my job on top of not being able to get pregnant why are things going wrong? I have prayed and prayed about both my job and getting pregnant and I have not gotten an answer. I pray for even just a sign and I don't have one. I have no idea if I will ever be able to have a baby. I like to think that one day it will happen but it's hard when you hear people say "your not getting any younger" and you seen teenage girls every week on MTV getting pregnant, not even out of high school with no job and no means of taking care of the child.
I know that God would not give me more then I can handle but I'm about at the end of my rope, I don't know how much more disappointment I can take...
Month after month and no such luck...
Even though we had been trying since October 2009 I really feel that June 2010 is our real start date because that is when we got some answers as to why we have not been able to have a child.
Here is just about everything I have been through... I've been through so much that I might have left something out but I tried my best to remember everything... Here goes...
Cycle 1 - June 2010:
*50mg clomid
Positive OVP on CD 16
No baby
Cycle 2 - July 2010
*100mg clomid
Positive OVP day 19
No baby
Cycle 3 - August 2010
*150mg Clomid
Dont remember when the positive OVP was
No baby
Cycle 4 - September 2010
*200mg Clomid
CD 13 ultrasound, one good follicle, given HCG shot to induce ovulation
Still no baby
Cycle 5 - October 2010
*200mg clomid
CD 13 ultrasound, one good follicle, again given HCG shot to induce ovulation
Again, no baby
Cycle 6 - November 2010
*200mg clomid
CD 13 ultrasound, once good follicle, again HCG shot
First IUI (intrauterine insemination)
after the 2ww, again no baby
December 2010 cycle took a break, was tired of being poked and prodded and taking medication and getting shots and ultrasounds. No medication taken. However did ovulate on my own, it was a longer cycle then typical but it was a good sign to be ovulating and having a cycle with no medication.
Cycle 7 - January 2011(8 if you count December 2010)
*200mg Clomid
CD 13 ultrasound... Not responding to clomid anymore, no mature follicles. Started progesterone to start new cycle
Cycle 8 - February 2011(9 if you count December 2010)
*5mg Letrezol (femera) New medication fresh start...
CD 13 ultrasound, one good follicle, given HCG shot
Second IUI
Yet again, no baby
This month also had the HSG test, not as painful as I had read about but it was very awkward. However, good news my tubes are clear and there is no blockage. And my new insurance paid for it all! over 3000 dollars.
Cycle 9 - March 2011 (10 if you count December 2010)
*5mg Letrezol (femera)
No scan this month, can't remember if I did OVP kits or not as they are so expensive so some months I didn't buy them.
However again as all other cycles, no baby...
Cycle 10 - April 2011 (11 if you count December 2010)
*5mg Letrezol (femera)
No ultrasound
Did do OVP kit but ran out of tests before I got a positive so I have no idea when I ovulated but I did. You know how I know... I started my period
NO BABY.
Cycle 11 - May 2011 (12 if you cound December 2010)
*5mg Letrezol (Femera)
CD 13 ultrasound 2 great sized follicles!!!!! I've never had two good ones before
Given HCG shot. Was asked if we wanted to do IUI however I decided not to as the first two didn't work and they are expensive, my insurance will cover it but you have to pay up front and then wait months and months to get a refund, still haven't gotten the refund from the last one...
And now we wait... I'm not to positive for this month either, I feel like my cycle may be coming to an end with no conception yet again... Just waiting to see.
First visit with the RE
After all of the research i did, learning about basil body temperatures and cervical mucus and just reproduction in general it was finally time for my first visit with my RE. i had my records from my GYN faxed over, everything from the ultrasounds to the blood work results. It wasn't the best first visit you could have had. It took two hours and I felt like I did more waiting then anything. A med student came in first and started asking me a bunch of questions. Then I wanted some more. Finally the doctor came in. She read my charts and asked me a bunch of questions and then did an exam. It doesn't seem like it would take that long after writing it out but they were sooooo slow! She finial gave me a medication called Clomid, the first step and getting some follicles to grow and produce some eggs.
And so it began....
Medications Vs. Supliments
So now that I have been diagnosed with what seemed like and unfix able aliment I didn't want to wait three months to see if the medication the GYN gave me would work. I couldn't just sit around and wonder and wait. I had to start doing some research on my own.
A lot of what i came across first was herbal supplements that can help balance a woman's hormones and help with ovulation. Anything from Cinnamon to red raspberry leaf and many more. The most common supplement I came across was called Vitex (also known as Chase berry). The key to getting pregnant besides general health and well being is ovulation and regular menstrual cycles. Vitex or chase berry has an excellent track record in relieving complaints in woman cause by hormonal imbalances. It may also be helpful for woman with PCOS.
Well this stuff is very hard to come across. I had to order it online and then after that I was able to find it at the vitamin shoppe. I started taking it along with about 15 other supplements. After about 2 months of taking tons of pills several times each day I decided I needed to do a bit more research. I came across the TTC (trying to conceive) blogs. I read about medications that a doctor can give you to help induce ovulation each month and about a specialist called and RE (reproductive endocrinologist) I was stoked that there was stuff that a doctor could do to help us achieve our dream of starting a family.
So i found an RE that my insurance would cover and made an appointment...
Over a year of trying...
After reading a Friend of a friends blog last night on her journey of trying to conceive I thought that it might be therapeutic for me to start my own blog as a way to talk about all the heartache and sadness that has been going on for for over a year now in my life.
A little background... My amazing husband Jonathan and i got married in July of 2009. Shortly after I stopped taking my birth control because we decided that we wanted to start a family. I knew this might be hard but I didn't expect it to be this hard... Ever since I was young I had abnormal cycles until I went on birth control. When i stopped taking it in October of 2009 allot of things started happening with my body, I started gaining weight rapidly, my skin started to look like it did back when I was in high school and I was still having abnormal cycles. After 5 months I decided it was time to check in with my GYN. She ran some blood work and did some ultrasounds and came to the conclusion that I have what is know as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). For those of you who have never heard of this, PCOS happens when a female has too much insulin, a hormone that helps turn food into energy. extra insulin can cause the other hormones in you body to be unbalanced. You may product extra of the hormone called androgen's, even though this is primarily a male hormone, females have it too and extra androgen's in a female can lead to acne, excess body hair (thank goodness I don't have this side effect), weight gain and irregular periods making it difficult to conceive.
After hearing this news I was devastated, i felt defeated, as if it was like I was not fit to be a mother and that is why this was happening to me. I took the news very hard and had more bad days then good days. I was put on a medication called metformin (which is typically used for those who have diabetes). I didn't understand how this medication used primarily for diabetes was going to help me get what I was longing for. But I took it anyways. My GYN told me to wait three months to see if this would regulate my body...
Of course I had to do more then just wait around...
I'm going to try and keep each post kinda short otherwise this first one would be so long you might not want to finish reading it. I'm sure I will have several posts by the end of the day, each containing a different part of our journey.
A little background... My amazing husband Jonathan and i got married in July of 2009. Shortly after I stopped taking my birth control because we decided that we wanted to start a family. I knew this might be hard but I didn't expect it to be this hard... Ever since I was young I had abnormal cycles until I went on birth control. When i stopped taking it in October of 2009 allot of things started happening with my body, I started gaining weight rapidly, my skin started to look like it did back when I was in high school and I was still having abnormal cycles. After 5 months I decided it was time to check in with my GYN. She ran some blood work and did some ultrasounds and came to the conclusion that I have what is know as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). For those of you who have never heard of this, PCOS happens when a female has too much insulin, a hormone that helps turn food into energy. extra insulin can cause the other hormones in you body to be unbalanced. You may product extra of the hormone called androgen's, even though this is primarily a male hormone, females have it too and extra androgen's in a female can lead to acne, excess body hair (thank goodness I don't have this side effect), weight gain and irregular periods making it difficult to conceive.
After hearing this news I was devastated, i felt defeated, as if it was like I was not fit to be a mother and that is why this was happening to me. I took the news very hard and had more bad days then good days. I was put on a medication called metformin (which is typically used for those who have diabetes). I didn't understand how this medication used primarily for diabetes was going to help me get what I was longing for. But I took it anyways. My GYN told me to wait three months to see if this would regulate my body...
Of course I had to do more then just wait around...
I'm going to try and keep each post kinda short otherwise this first one would be so long you might not want to finish reading it. I'm sure I will have several posts by the end of the day, each containing a different part of our journey.
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