Holy medications, Batman!

So this is it. It's almost time to start the IVF cycle. There is a lot of emotion that is going around in my head and in my heart. I'm so excited to get this started and so ready to see if it is going to work. I think to myself, "how can this not work? The egg will be fertilized and will be implanted into the uterus... How could the pregnancy not stick???" But on the other hand I think "what if it doesn't work? What if I go through all of this time and energy and emotion and injections and pills and I still can't get pregnant?" I try to think the positive way that this has to work, everything will be fertilized and implanted and keep away from the negative thoughts of it not working but as the time to start all the medication gets closer and closer I start to get my anxious..

Currently I am still on birth control pills letting the ovaries rest. We have an appointment with the nurse on the 13th to learn how to take all the injections and pills and how to follow the calendar for the cycle. The medications look so overwhelming and I hope that I am able to give myself the injections and do them correctly and at the right times. I don't want to mess any of this up. It's true that my insurance is paying for this which is nice because the medications above cost me just over 100 dollars out of pocket and if my insurance didn't cover this it would have cost thousands of dollars and I wouldn't even have this picture to post because we wouldn't even be doing IVF, but I still don't want to mess anything up.

Per out calendar that the nurse made up I will start taking all the medications on July 17th, just a week after our 2 year wedding anniversary.  Starting on the 29th I will go in for several ultrasounds to check and see how the ovaries are developing. I will go about every 3 days until the 8th of August. Hopefully everything is developed and looking good on the 8th and then Jonathan can give me the HCG shot to induce ovulation of all the follicles and on the 10th I can go in for my egg retrieval. On the 15th hopefully everything will be fertilized and developing correctly and we can transfer the two best embryos back and make some babies.

I rally hope that this works, if it doesn't I wont be able to help thinking everything for the past year and more really has been my fault. I mean, I am the woman, I should be able to carry children. Even though the previous medications I have been on have solved my ovulation issues I still haven't been able to get pregnant. If this doesn't work I know that it will not be good for the depressed I have had in the past during our trying to conceive time. I just wont be able to help thinking what is wrong with me? But I hope that it doesn't get to that point and that by the end of August we will have some great news, a positive pregnancy test and maybe even twins!

I wish the 17th would come fasters so we can get this started!